The Death of Happily Ever After

happily-ever-after-logo1Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism,
it comes from “I’m not good enough.”

~ Brene Brown, Researcher


“I am not enough.”
“I don’t do enough.”
“I’ll never do enough.”
“I’ll never be enough.”
“I’ll never have enough.”

Mantras I hear over and over in my work with clients. It doesn’t matter how successful or unsuccessful by worldly standards, it doesn’t matter how much money they have or possessions, age, health, gender, culture, education, none of these seem to matter. It’s usually one of the first things we work on.

We believe if we do more, are more, have more there will come a time when everything is perfect and we can live happily ever after. I’m here to tell you that’s just a fairy tale.

Why do we think that we’re not enough? Many of us have been taught since we were children that our grades weren’t good enough, our rooms weren’t clean enough, our teeth weren’t brushed enough. We learned from generations who had been taught the same lies in the same way – that they weren’t enough. It is endless.

The truth is you are enough. Enough just being who you are, enough just doing what you do. You are enough simply because you exist. And if we could all get that we are enough our worlds could relax and we could enjoy what it is we do and have.

An exercise for this busy time of year is each time you hear that panicked voice inside you telling you to do more, spend more, stretch more whether buying gifts, cleaning, working , visiting, stop and ask yourself two questions: Am I feeling finished with this experience? Can I choose for this to be enough?

To find the peace this time of year promises we must choose to be the peace. Choose to say, “It’s enough.” And remember that perfection in most things doesn’t exist.

Share your thoughts, comments, questions and ideas here and/or  Conscious Living Facebook group  (lots of quotes here to comment on). If you’d be interested in a workshop or more on this topic let me know.  Love to hear from you!

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